I'm bringing sexyback!

You have always held the most important position in my heart, really.

I am angry at myself for not spending enough time with you. I always think you don't really like spending time with me. I always thought you prefer to spend time with your friends.

When I am home, you're already asleep. You are all alone at home most of the time. You laugh while watching tv and realize no one is laughing alone with you. You score really good in a test and wanted badly to tell us only to realize no one is there to share your happiness. You are hungry and wish we are home to eat together with you. But all you can find in the kitchen is maggi mee.

I still remember the times we hummed band songs/sang really loud while walking to the train station. The 'neh neh neh neh neh' hand sign we always use. Going to the playground together. Playing badminton downstairs. Swimming, and playing the shark game. Talking/singing at night until we both fell asleep. Listening to you tell me stories until I fell asleep. Watching Spongebob Squarepants cartoon.

I remember all these little things we did together.

Do you know I am very angry everytime Royce and Evonne started to brag about their school and compared with yours? Whatever you are feeling, I feel a thousand times more. If they weren't my cousins, I will give them a tight slap.

Do you know that mum and I always cry because of you? We will wonder how are you doing in school/at home. We will worry for you every other minute. I read your blog and whatever you said hurts me. I hate seeing you so sad/depressed. If mum were to read your blog, I guess she will probably break down infront of the computer.

When we say you change a lot, it doesn't mean we think you are getting from bad to worse or what. We are losing you so fast - emotionally, we are scared. You no longer talk to me about your problems. We are so desperate to 'get you back'. We speak to your friends and try to talk to you.

Everyone is so worried for you. We all love you, we really do. It really hurts us to see you so sad and always keeping things to yourself. We don't mean any harm; please let us into your world.

Please talk to me. I'm dying to speak to you about your problems. I'm dying to see you smile/laugh again.

Michelle, please be strong. I love you, I really do. And I will do anything to protect you.